There are some dates that we just don’t look forward to. Dentist appointments, exam season, for some of us, Christmas. They fill our bellies with dread and we would rather forget their existence. But there’s one day of the year that most singles dread the most and that is Valentine’s Day.
Let’s face it when the 14th February comes round and your single it makes you feel shit. You’re surrounded by friends who are in relationships (well I certainly am), getting all loved up, the shops are bombarding us with enough boxes of chocolates to give a diabetic a heart attack and all the restaurants are advertising their exclusive menus for lovers. Facebook is full of pictures of smug girlfriends boasting about their presents from “the one” and long essays that seem to be attempts to create a work as romantic as that of Keates, though I doubt he’d use “Luv u 4eva babes.”
Meanwhile us singletons are shunned out. No two steaks and for £20 at spoons for you. And we can’t win. If we whinge about it, we’re bitter, if we say it doesn’t bother us we’re just lying. We feel confined to our houses, for fear of being the lonely black sheep in a sea of white sheep couples. Well not this year. I’m reclaiming it.
The whole point of Valentines Day is to celebrate the relationship you share with someone you love. ( Well I think it’s actually to boost the economy, but hey ho bitter singleton over here). So why not spend the day celebrating the most important relationship there is – the one you have with yourself.
You don’t need someone else in your life to make you feel special or to treat you. You can do that for yourself. So turn this Valentines Day into the ultimate daay of self love. Do what you love, eat what you love, listen to what you love, just fill your day with things that makes up the incredible being that is you. Spend some time appreciating who you are and what you stand for. Here’s a few suggestions from me on what to do.
You don’t need to wait for someone else to give you gratification. Let’s face it you’re pretty fucking fabulous already, and you should acknowledge that. Buy yourself a little treat as a token of self love, whether it be flowers, chocolates, new underwear, whatever. Something that makes you feel good. Of course it’s lovely to receive loving gestures from others, but we shouldn’t wait on them to feel good. Reward yourself and let your mind know that you’re worth it.
Let’s be honest every restaurant under the sun will be filled with couples recreating that scene from “Lady and the Tramp” and we don’t need that shit right now. Instead take refuge at home and make yourself something you adore to eat. (Posh meal deals from Waitrose or M&S count too, who gives a damn if it’s meal for 2 you’re worth the calories.) I always find that when I take the time to make really good food it gives me an enormous high. Nourishing yourself is one of the best and most basic forms of self love. So set the scene, make some great food, get in your jammies and put on your favourite film. You can always cry into the Ben and Jerry’s tub if the loneliness gets to you.
Take some time to think about the things you admire about yourself. Maybe it’s your inner strength or your huge expectations for yourself. Maybe it’s your fashion sense. What’s your favourite body part? What makes you feel sexy? What do you think others love about you? Get raw and express your love for yourself. It is all too easy to think that if we don’t receive attention or affection from others then we aren’t worth anything and then we end up dismissing all the great things about ourselves, just because no one bothered to acknowledge them. You don’t need to be controlled by the opinions of others. You’re still worth loving, single or not.
Spend some time doing what you love. Watch a cheesy rom com, read your favourite book, have a lie in, watch crappy telly in bed, have a face mask, run a long bath and bring along that bottle of wine. Celebrate what you stand for and what you love doing- in another sense what makes up you. Indulging in what we love does wonders for our confidence. We feel we are worth treating and we feel great because we are doing things that bring us joy.
Ultimately Valentine’s Day is about spending time with the people you love. That doesn’t necessarily have to be your other half- it could be family, a best friend , ultimately these relationships are just as fulfilling. These are people that inspire you, support you, make you laugh and hug you when you cry. They understand you on many levels and have your back. Their influence is just as worth celebrating as a relationship. You don’t need to be bone buddies to love each other.
So as everyone around you is getting loved up just remember you have a reason to celebrate too. The relationship you have with yourself is worth working on and respecting. Only when we are truly able to love ourselves, regardless of others, can we be happy. What are your plans for Valentine’s? Let me know in the comments below.
Until next time lovelies,